


NSFW One Piece One Shots

by PainedEggs



Series: Flakes [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:48:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28693479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PainedEggs/pseuds/PainedEggs
Summary: A bunch of one shots that i may or may not finish-NSFW edition.(I'll add some more tags whenever I make the second chapter-if I make it.)
Series: Flakes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2103243
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	1. Bargaining

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 5 AM. I should've just slept...

He saw a bit of it on accident. How did this lead up to this intense bargaining?

“You can borrow it if I borrow two of yours.”

“Two? You really are an ero-cook.”

“You have no basis to talk. You saw me getting off to this and decided you wanted to get off to it yourself, and of course, you would. It’s the best one I have.”

“The bes… your favorite? How long have you had it?”

“About 2 months. It’s so good I already have stains on it.”

“Stai- there is NO way that I’m giving you two.”

“But both of the two can have stains on them as well.”

“Still no. It’s not happening.”

Sanji sighs. The room is silent. He thinks about Zoro’s statement.

“...One that has no stains at all. Not even a smudge.”

“For that, it must be a really good one.”

“Oh, it is, but you can look for yourself. You could use it right here while I’m showing it to you if you want to. Hell, if you do that, you could keep it.”

“No way.”

Sanji passes Zoro the magazine. He opens the book to a random page. “Damn, this IS good,” Zoro thinks.

“So…”

“Yeah, I don’t have anything to lose. I’ll take it. But I will be keeping it if you make a mess with mine.”

“Deal.”


	2. Prostate orgasms are TOO EXTREME!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji tries out a prostate orgasm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A while back, I read on Reddit that prostate orgasms were a bit extreme with stimulation from beating it and poking your prostate. Then I wrote this.

It was that time of night again. Sanji had to release all of that pent up excitement from today. He had bought a new magazine earlier and couldn’t wait to try it out. He slithered out of his bed, trying to keep quiet as to not wake anybody up, and managed to get to the bathroom quickly and quietly enough to keep everyone asleep. He took the mag out of his underwear, sat on the toilet, and opened it up.

The first pages weren’t bad, but they weren’t “THE BEST,” like how the clerk said. At least he could get a little hard because of them. The next page had 2 girls in compromising positions, tied up together. You could see one of their asses, and the other’s boobs. Better than the last few pages. On the next page, there was a girl with huuuge tits spreading her legs open. If he wasn’t hard before, he was hard now.

He flipped to the next page, ready to start the ritual… only to be met with some ads. But one of them was different. It said, “Are you really horny and hoping for the best release you’ve ever had? You can achieve this with a prostate orgasm! If you show this coupon to Grand Love, you could get a dildo half off! If lesbians using dildos aren’t straight, then guys using dildos aren’t gay!” It even came with a little picture of the location of a prostate.

Now, if he was in his right mind, he would’ve skipped the page, but for some reason, he didn’t. He was curious. After all, how good could sticking a few fingers up your ass feel? He could feel one of two ways: pleasured or very disappointed. He decided he had nothing to lose and tried it. One finger at first, trying to get inside of his hole. Once he got inside, he didn’t have to go far to find it. He just poked it once while stroking himself, and… maybe he shouldn’t’ve done that. He let out a moan that was loud enough that he was sure everyone could hear it. Sanji hoped with all of his heart that he didn’t wake anyone up. He cracked open the door and saw that nobody was awake, so he continued. He poked once more and moaned loudly again. He checked outside once again, saw that the coast was clear, and continued. He kept stroking his member while prodding his prostate. He tried to suppress another moan, but it felt… he couldn’t. He fell off of the toilet seat and dropped to the floor. Nothing could stop him at this point. He prodded and stroked, moaning louder and louder by the second, magazine on the same page. And just when he came…

“What’s..! Oh.” Zoro. Why did it have to be him? Sanji’s cum was already all over the floor, a bit extending to the baseboard and lower wall, and he had to walk in. He was just turning around when Sanji whispered,

“Don’t tell a soul.”

“I won’t.”


	3. Little tidbit :) (To hold you over till next time)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji's EPIC rap skills!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was thinking about making a movie, but I know I don't have enough money for that. This was going to be the after-credits scene with no visuals. Formatted like how I'd format a script.  
> [S]=Sanji  
> [B]=Brook  
> [U]=Usopp  
> [D]=door  
> [Z]=Zoro

**[S] Alright Usopp, I’m ready.**

**[U] *Starts Beatboxing***

**[B] *Watching Sanji***

**[S] I beat your ass and then I beat my meat**

**[U] *Stops beatboxing* Wait what**

**[S] I beat my meat while the others are ‘sleep**

**[B] Just go with it, Usopp-san. He’s written his own song.**

**[U] *Begins beatboxing again***

**[S] I beat my meat when I’m alone with watch, had to fight with a boner once, was the other guy’s loss.**

**[B] You’re doing great, Sanji-san.**

**[S] He made the mistake of accidentally touching my dick, came in my pants and all over him.**

**[U] I don’t think I needed to know that but ok *Continues beatboxing***

**[S] I had to change my pants, but I wasn’t done. I can’t finish fapping with nutting once!**

**[U] *Trips up for a sec but continues beatboxing***

**[D]** **_creeeeeeeeeeeak…_ **

**[S] Yeah, I beat his ass and then I beat my meat**

**[Z] what the actual fuck**

**[S] Shut it, moss head.**

**[U] *Stops beatboxing* Can I go now?**

**[B] Zoro-san, can you leave for a bit?**

**[Z] Not until I get answers.**

**[U] I wouldn’t have wasted a tone dial for this.**

**[Z] Give it to me.**

**[U] Ok. *Click***

**[Tone Dial] (repeats whole song)**

**[Z] What the fuck is this?????**


End file.
